I swear if I watch one more sad video I’ll cry blood. I have no more tears after watching “Freedom Writers”. The movie was simply inspirational and marvellous that I woke up with swollen eyes this morning. However, I still continued searching for videos to post here and guess what I found:

After watching this one, I officially have no more tears for the next two weeks. Before I get into the crux of what I’m inspired to say today because of this video, I want to tell you that I made a new friend called Karin Hiebert yesterday. She talked about Dale Carnegie’s 9 Life Principles and coincidentally, the first one was “don’t criticize, condemn or complain.”

What’s The Use of Complaining?

1) Work Out A Solution. Before you object, I just want you to know that I know what you’re thinking: Complaining doesn’t solve anything! Well, in my honest opinion, it depends really…

Have you ever complained to a friend with the sole intention of venting your frustration? I just realised that’s a stupid question, don’t answer that. But have you ever complained to a friend, and as you complained and complained, something constructive came out of it?

I’ve experienced this a few times before and it amazes me every single time. It seems that when you talk it out, ideas about how to overcome what you’re complaining about suddenly pops out of nowhere. You’ve been there once too, right?

The funny thing is that when I tried to pretend that I was talking to someone and talk it out, it never happens! Why is that so? I have no idea.

Now, I’m not saying you should go around complaining to people and hope that it will lead to something constructive popping up. Because honestly, that only happens once in a blue moon. Why? Were you hoping I’d say something that will give you an excuse to continue complaining? Sorry! Not today, buddy!

2) Accentuate Your Problems. I’ve talked about this too many times before. My friend Dominic Tay terms the C as Complaining in his post The A-B-C of Working Mind Over Mater He said,”Complaints will only feed on themselves. Do you notice that when you start complaining, it becomes a mantra, then eventually a self-fulfilling prophecy?”

Just like how I described in “The Secrets of Health & Healing”, if you are to tell your family, friends, neighbours and your neighbour’s dog about it, you’re only going to attract more like situations into your life.
3) Annoy Everybody. I think it’s time I told you a painful truth. Nobody wants to know about how bitchy the canteen lady is to you or how painful your neck is. Yes, really - nobody! No, not even your boyfriend or girlfriend - Sorry!

How Do I Stop Complaining?

1) “Never Complain, Never Explain”. I saw this quote while doing my research just now and I think everyone should have this plastered on their foreheads. Why? Five words: Take 100% Responsibility!

Ooooo.. The “R” Word. All right my friend, time to get serious. Taking 100% responsibility for your life is the first principle in Jack Canfield’s “The Success Principles” and it is rightly so.

Looking at it from the perspective of the law of attraction, everything that you are, have, and are experiencing is a result of what you have attracted into your life by the virtue of the images you hold in your mind.

So, know that whatever your are complaining about you have brought into your life voluntarily. So now that you are sold to that idea, how do we go about stopping the complaining frenzy.

2) Ask Yourself Can You Change This? In the video, Patrick said,”It doesn’t matter what kind of disabilities, what kind of complaints or problems you might have throughout your life. Who cares? Big deal!”

Tell me about it. I personally have two rules when it comes to complaining:

Rule #1: “If I Can’t Change It, Don’t Complain About It”

Rule #2:”If I Can Change It, Don’t Complain About It”

In my book, I refer to one of the most famous equations in personal development:

E + R = O
Event + Response = Outcome

Let’s take a close look at Rule #1. From personal experience, most people tend to complain about things that they totally have no control over. My personal favorite would be the one thing we have in common : 24 hours.

When I “relapse” into the complaining phase, I always ask myself, “How can I complain that I don’t have enough time to do this, when people are doing bigger things with the same amount of time?!” That usually gives me a slap in the face and I succumb to the reality that it’s just an excuse.

So, that’s my strategy. If it’s something I cannot change, I just remember that everyone’s bounded by the same rules, and that the greatest men who have walked this Earth were not even the slightly shaken by them.

Now, let’s take a closer look at Rule #2. You know what? Just sit back. You don’t even have to come closer to know that if it’s something you can do something about, you shouldn’t even be complaining in the first place.

3) Remember Those Who Have Triumphed Despite All The Odds. And for the icing on the cake, I’ve got a big confession to make. I think I’m the only blogger who reads his old blog posts again and again. No, it’s not self-obsession or ego.

It’s because videos like today’s, “The Real Rocky” and “The 14 Year Old Millionaire” tell the stories of people who had every reason in the world not to be successful, yet they did.

Every time I feel like I can’t achieve my goal of becoming a millionaire by 23, I watch those videos again and I’ve got to be honest, I feel pathetic because my excuses for not making that happen seems so insginificant - it’s just embarassing.

But that’s why I started this blog in the first place. I watch the videos again and again whenever I feel unmotivated and by the time I finish watching them a couple of times, I get off my butt and do something.

Talk back to me:

I want to know if you agree with my first point that sometimes, it’s good to spend some time complaining. It releases the stress and frustration, you know?

If you don’t, then I personally want to know how you destress instead of complainng. What are your strategies for overcoming this disease of complaining?

What’s next?

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